


The Outsider

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: F/M, M/M, Shameless Smut, mention of Carlos/Cecil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1822705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everyone fits into Night Vale as easily as Carlos.<br/>Ell is Carlos's best friend, has been for years, and technically his boss although they don't talk about that. She is the buffer between the Night Vale team and their sponsors in Desert Bluffs. After being grazed by the sandstorm, she notices some personality changes and struggles to get used to her new dual self and the fine balance between keeping her team safe and betraying them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Outsider

**Author's Note:**

> I added Ell to my "Carlos's Secret Diary" series because I figured the poor man needed someone to talk to. But Ell has a function in my head canon. This is the first part, starting from The Sandstorm where she gets a double... of a kind.
> 
> This will make more sense if you read the sandstorm part of Carlos's Secret Diary first. Or I could stop being lazy and add a bit more to this.
> 
> I know lots of people have "Diego" (is that fanon? I'm learning a whole new language around fandoms) but I don't see a Carlos-double as the Diego I've enjoyed reading about (sometimes with my eyes shut saying nonononono iykwim but I just.... can't.... stop.... reading....). So, meet Lucas. I'm sure he'll pop up again.

The sandstorm only caught my back for a second. As it hit town, I ducked into the lab, stumbled and caught myself on the nearest bench. I guessed I might have a slight concussion from the way my head felt kind of woozy and unreal. Gio was there and I let him look after me for a while. He fussed far more than Carlos would have. Gio put one arm around my waist to help support me over to the break room and onto the sofa then insisted on staying to make sure I didn't fall into a coma or something. Idiot. I admitted to myself (but not to him, obviously, no point encouraging attention that wouldn't lead to what I assumed he probably wanted) that it was quite nice to be looked after for an hour or so and I didn't hate having his arm around me. 

Time out gave me time to think. I've been busy keeping the lab afloat, making sure the postgrads get their pittance and our sponsors get their data. I had no idea why they were so invested in Night Vale, but a little careful prying and calling in of favours unearthed a pattern of takeovers. The most recent was our neighbouring town, Desert Bluffs, where our sponsors owned almost everything. I inferred that they had similar pans for a takeover of Night Vale. I didn't see what difference it would make who owned the town. They already owned the lab and all of our intellectual property, what difference would a few more acres of dust make? 

I knew Carlos from college. We met when we both got shitty jobs to pay our rent. We just fit comfortably together and ended up sharing an apartment. If we had nothing better to do we would sit and watch bad movies and criticise the fuck-witted movie science. Sometimes we'd snuggle up, if we were both feeling down, and we would feel better. It never led anywhere, obviously, his libido is permanently set to slightly dorky dudes whilst mine is in the off position. We were best friends, I suppose. I left to work in human resources, a term that makes me shudder, Carlos got a research post with a private lab and we drifted apart. It was hard keeping in touch with someone in the days before mobile phones did anything other than make phone calls, email was limited to a shared account and the social media we take for granted did not exist. It wasn't so very long ago either. We exchanged cards a couple of times a year until my company bought out his lab and I became, sort of, his boss. We became friends all over again. We never regained the level of closeness we used to have but it was comfortable. 

Carlos is not an impulsive man. However, when science is involved he gets sucked in, allows his enthusiasm to prevail over caution and turn him into a fucking moron. His team was working on a device that could send particles through a time loop, or something like that, and Carlos had scaled up the device. When he showed his colleagues what he had made, they got a bit worked up and begged for a demonstration and Carlos reached for a set of switches. That much was on the security tape. The rest was blank and the only scientist to make it out of the lab was Carlos. His team was gone and the machine was shrapnel. 

The company Carlos and I both eventually worked for was taken over by StrexCorp a couple of years ago, just after Carlos lost his job. His dismissal from his old research post hit him hard and I missed being able to visit his lab to let off steam about the management. Nothing much changed for several months. They gradually re-interviewed everyone from the top down. All of the executive positions were filled by new faces. Many of the old middle managers were, we were told, "moved sideways to alternative positions". I was kept. No, more than that. After my interview, at which I was quizzed about other experts I could bring to the company, I was offered promotion and put in charge of setting up a research lab in a small but scientifically significant desert town. They hinted very strongly that securing Carlos would be a deciding factor in not being moved sideways to an alternative position. My interviewer's tone of voice suggested that the alternative position would not be pleasant. I found suitable premises, ordered equipment then called Carlos with the news. He was happy to be able to leave his academic post and get back to practical science. We agreed a timescale for the lab setup and moved to Nowhere's Ville with crew of postgrads who were desperate enough not to ask too many questions. This is not my kind of place. Carlos slotted right in like he was born here. 

My light-headedness wore off and I felt fucking amazing, stronger than I had in months. When I did that internal monologue thing it felt as if there was actually someone listening and replying. It was odd and unsettling but the inner voice was rational and calm, soothing almost. Carlos returned from checking the mammal traps in the sand wastes, bringing his double with him and the inner voice guided me through the battery of biometric tests we performed on the pair. The inner voice suggested that not-Carlos would be useful in our partner-lab in Desert Bluffs. The inner voice made me pull over on the nighttime drive to Desert Bluffs and suggest that not-Carlos carry out his crude suggestion of "You don't ever fuck. I volunteer to help you find out what you're missing". 

I can't explain it. Something about the new dual consciousness and the rather different version of Carlos here made me wonder what might have been, if things were different. Stupid? Yes. Ell, or OldEll as I came to think of her, me, liked Carlos and loved him even. No sexual tension. He came on to me once, but anything said after sharing three bottles of wine doesn't count. The new version of me wanted to touch not-Carlos, but in a different way from the clinical examination of a few hours ago. Shit, he didn't even have a name yet. 

"You're not Carlos. What do you want to be called?"  
He was quiet for a moment. "What do you suggest?"  
"Look," I began...  
"Okay, call me Luc. Luciano, Lucas or Lucifer. Take your pick"  
"Sure, Lucas. Whatever."

I pulled over off the road and onto the scrub beside the tarmac.  
"So, Lucas. You said I was missing something."  
He looked at me and smiled slowly, saying, "As am I. I'm brand new."  
"But you have Carlos's memories and experiences,"  
"Would you rather have the memory of a good experience, or live it?"  
I looked at him, still unsure. He spoke first.  
"You turned him down."  
"He's not that kind of friend."  
"Maybe I could be?"  
I stared at the darkness, calm exterior hiding an interior battle.  
"Okay, OldEll and I are not the same. Lucas is not Carlos. Do you even find me attractive, or am I just available?"  
"Fuck! Have you heard yourself? The way you run that lab, you are smart, funny, assertive, fierce... I don't know whether to make a move or run away."  
"But Carlos is..."  
"Gay, yes, and who the fuck knows what I am. I am ten hours old, Ell, and really curious."  
I had to ask, I had asked Carlos the same question years ago. "Do you remember whether you, I mean Carlos, ever had sex with a woman?"  
He was quiet for half a minute or more. "No, he never has. He feels comfortable around women, maybe because he has nothing to prove and nothing to lose. He mostly thinks of you as a sort of edgy cousin and, if it's any use, he was mortified after coming on to you and really glad you said no. I have a memory of him kissing a girl because he thought he should and feeling uncomfortable about it." He sniggered. "Oh I have a few memories Carlos probably wouldn't want me to share! Once he..."  
OldEll snapped through for a second. "Then don't." 

How can I describe being attracted and repelled simultaneously? This was new. I looked into his brown-gold eyes and he said, "This is all new to me too."  
I reached out one hand, stroked his rough cheek. He leaned forwards and kissed me near but not on my mouth, like he knew. Of course he knew. Carlos knew. He undid my seatbelt and his and stroked his hand up my side, resting his forehead on my shoulder and his hand at the side of my breast.  
"Let's get comfortable." I got out and walked around the car to meet him on the non-road side, reached in and reclined the passenger seat. I said, "get back in." He did. I got in beside him and said, "do you want to do this?" He said yes.

"Okay, rules. No mouth-kissing, no penetration unless I say you can, if either of us says stop, we stop, and if you tell anyone I will say that your penis is the size of a cocktail sausage and you suffer from premature ejaculation." He laughed and kissed my neck in a way that was not repellant.  
"For all I know, that may all be true," he shifted in the cramped space. "At the risk of breaking the mood, can we do this somewhere more... roomy?"  
We got out. I took the blanket from the standard science kit in the back of the car (a scientist should be prepared for long nights of observing the behaviour of native wildlife) and we walked in the cool desert air just far enough from the road not to be caught in the sweep of passing headlights. We did not speak. During the short walk I oscillated silently between yes and no. No because this could be really embarrassing. Yes because if I wanted to know what having sex actually felt like then Lucas was the least imperfect candidate. Looked like Carlos, although the more time I spent with him the less Carlos-like he became, knew my issues and technically hadn't done this before either. 

We stopped and I dropped onto the blanket. Lucas sat beside me. This was awkward. He spoke first. "What would you normally do with a partner?"

"Avoid being alone together for a few weeks, make sure I had an escape route on dates, invite them home to watch movies with me on nights when I knew Carlos would be back in time to prevent any suggestion of a sleepover, stall for as long as possible, eventually say that I liked them but never wanted to have sex and watch them leave. You?"

"Fall for someone completely inappropriate then run away when it all implodes."

We laughed at each other. "It's okay if you change your mind," Lucas put an arm around my shoulders. "This is weird and confusing for me too. I can remember every man Carlos fucked and I'd do it all over again as me. Well, maybe not that shit from Nice. I mean, I'm trying to say that I'm still attracted to men."  
"So what is the point of this, then? Are you also attracted to women?"  
He put his other arm around me and hugged me. "Not women. Woman. As far as my brief experience goes. Maybe there is no point. Does there need to be? Can we do this then decide? If we liked it do it again, if we didn't then swear it never happened?"

I put my arms around his waist and leaned in to him. We lay down, his arms around my shoulders and my head on his chest, listening to nothing. I knew there must be a heart there, I had recorded its trace from the ECG machine. I put one hand inside his shirt, stroking the skin I had recently measured and photographed. I sat up, knelt and unbuttoned his shirt, helped him remove it, then pulled off my own teeshirt revealing my usual plain washed-with-denim-grey crop top. I was glad of the dark. Lucas helped ease it over my head and off. We touched each other hesitantly, carefully. He kissed me gently on my forehead then my lips and I drew back, put a hand between his mouth and mine. I said no. He apologised then kissed my cheek, my neck, my shoulder, my sternum. His hands stroked my back. I put one hand on his head, pushed my fingers through his hair. He hummed quietly and I did the same with my other hand so that my hands met at the back of his neck. He dropped his head forward, an invitation. I trailed my fingers from the base of his skull down his spine as far as I could reach then across the back of his shoulders and returned to his hairline. His skin responded to my touch, shivering and pricking up every little hair. I repeated the action, prompting a moan then a whimper at the end of the stroke. 

I felt a soft warm tingle as Lucas kissed then licked first one nipple then my other. Somehow, I felt referred sensation as nerves fired in response. Damn, I even felt it in my teeth. I told him to keep doing that, whatever it was. I stroked his sensitive shoulder skin, he stimulated my breasts, letting the feeling build up until we broke and roughly removed the rest of each other's clothing. I couldn't believe how much I wanted this and the lack of control terrified me. Lucas pulled me up onto his lap and I straddled his thighs. He took my hand and put it next to his erect penis. I stroked its length gently. He said I could be a little harder. I replied that he probably couldn't and he laughed. I took his direction and clasped his penis in my hand, he moved my other hand to stroke his scrotum. Like this? I asked. Oh yes. Like that. 

Lucas put one hand on the back of my hips and slipped the other between my legs. I felt a warm, slick wetness spread over my genitals as he slithered his fingers back and forward, careful not to enter where he was not yet invited. A little jolt caused a muscle spasm on each pass. Faster, uh, faster... he turned his hand to use the knuckles of his fingers, rubbing back and forwards against my inner labia and clitoris. His other hand left its position anchoring my coccyx causing me to roll back very slightly, pushing my opening within easier reach. His free hand stroked along my entrance and came to rest with two fingers just far enough inside that I could feel it. He continued to move gently in time with my own rhythm until... yesohshityes, ah... 

I felt an intense and growing desire to have him inside me. I stopped and shifted. Lucas seemed to know what I was doing, moved his hands out of the way and lay back to make room for me as I shuffled up to straddle his hips. I held his penis, guiding it into position and slowly sank down onto it a little. He hummed again as he entered me. I stopped, tightness preventing me from pushing down completely. He pushed up slightly, causing a sudden pain that passed as I lifted off. 

"Ah shit."  
"Sorry, did that hurt"  
"Yes."  
"Can we go back to doing the nice stuff that doesn't hurt?"  
I thought about saying no. "Okay."

He sat up again and I sat between his legs, facing him, with my knees bent over his thighs and his feet together behind me. We resumed our stroking and rubbing and pumping and probing, building the tension and heat back up. I varied the pace of my hand movement, trying to judge from his breathing when I was getting the tempo right. "Slower" he told me and I made firm, slow strokes so that he forgot what he was doing to me, caused him to breathe heavily a few times then sigh out loud and release. 

I wiped my hand on the blanket, glad that my face was hidden by the desert dark. Lucas lay back for a minute then sat up again. He lifted my knees so that I overbalanced and rolled backwards then positioned himself between my thighs with one hand parting my labia and one under me. He flicked his tongue over my clitoris. "Okay?" yes. He started slowly, built up the heat, changed the pressure of his tongue so that it was sometimes soft and hot flittering, sometimes harder and rougher making my core twitch. The cool night desert breeze played over my skin adding an extra dimension to the sensation. The hand under me moved, he stroked along my opening with his thumb and entered. He twitched his thumb, making me wriggle. I said too much, keep still. He traced a finger back to find my other entrance. I was barely aware of what he was doing, so occupied with the feeling of growing pleasure and excitement that was quickly building up along with a strange feeling of not knowing where to put my legs. As his finger pushed in, the hot tingle in my clitoris exploded into my brain and I came, muscles tensing in waves against him. 

He shuffled up beside me and put his arm around me but my entire skin was too sensitive to touch. I groaned and shrugged him off. He cleaned himself up with the blanket, as did I. We retrieved our clothes, got dressed and headed back to the car. I wondered if I'd have to tell him that having his semen on my hand made me want to cut it off, throw it away and replace it with a hook. Or that although the orgasm was intense, I doubted that I would ever let anyone get me into such a helpless state again.

"That was..."  
"Uh-huh..."  
"Nice? I guess?"  
"Yes, nice."  
"I don't think..." Both at once.  
"At least we agree." He sounded relieved.  
Nice, but not to be repeated or ever spoken of.

We reached the car and one question that had been bugging me crystallised into words.  
"So how did you learn how to drive a woman?"  
"Ah. Carlos studied anatomy and had a couple of female friends who confided in him about their boyfriends, given enough alcohol. Also, he used to watch a lot of porn. For science of course, to see what turned him on."  
"Huh. We always fast forwarded through the sex scenes in movies."  
"I remember. That is because most of them are shit."  
I laughed, and so did Lucas. We hugged for the first and last time, got in the car and continued our journey, curiosity satisfied.

By the time we got to the edge of Desert Bluffs, I didn't know which voice was mine any more. I didn't know for sure who I was. "Ell" sounded wrong somehow. Shit, it was confusing. I wondered if talking to Lucas would help. 

"Are you coping with this doubles business?" I asked.  
"Yes," he replied. "I feel like I know Carlos, but I'm definitely not him."  
"I can tell, Carlos would never have done what you just did." I stole a quick glance then eyes back on the road.  
"Neither would Ell," he said, "so who the Hell are you?"  
I was silent for a couple of miles. Then, "I don't know. I'm not a double like you, but it feels like I'm different, not the Ell from half a day ago."  
We drove on in silence again. I felt like I could tell Lucas things about the purpose of the Night Vale lab that would make Carlos blow up. He seemed a little more... was flexible the right word? Adaptable?

"You know everything Carlos knows, up to the moment you tripped during the sandstorm?" He nodded. "So you know why Carlos lost his last research job?" He nodded again.  
"I remember it as my last research job too. And I... he didn't stop working on it. I, Carlos that is, smuggled out my notebook with the temporal manipulator design details in it."  
"Fuck me! So that IS what StrexCorp is after!" I thumped the steering wheel. "Fucking knew it. I didn't know about the stolen lab notes. Do you know where the notebook is?"  
He grinned and nodded. "You think I'll be able to get a job then?"  
"Fuck yes, they'll double over and fellate themselves when you tell them."

I had known for a while that Carlos was keeping things from me sometimes but I also knew he kept a diary and I would find it eventually. He is logical, which makes him predictable. I thought of all those times I had walked in on him as he slapped his laptop lid down. One time I asked if he was watching porn and said not to be embarrassed about it and he blushed enough for the heat to be visible on his neck. Another time, a couple of weeks later, I sneaked up on him quietly as he stared at the screen. Fucking Carlos was writing poetry for Cecil! It was the funniest thing I had seen in ages, Carlos getting all romantic and flowery. I had never seen him in a state like this before.It would make my next task easier though. Matchmaking. Carlos would be easier to keep in Night Vale if he was in a relationship with Cecil. Cecil's subversive activities would be easier to monitor if he was with Carlos. But I'm rushing ahead.

I took Lucas straight to StrexCorp HQ next to the radio station. I had emailed from the lab in Night Vale and they were expecting me. We explained away the lateness of our arrival as "car trouble" although I could tell that Lauren knew we were lying. A couple of mechs, possibly Daniels but they might have been Marks, led Lucas away for further biometric analysis and I took the opportunity to tell the truth. 

"Lauren, I am so sorry I lied to you. I didn't want Lucas to feel awkward. We stopped on the way here to have sex. Just that, there is no attachment and will be no relationship." She was not smiling at me. Not smiling quite hard.  
"That was impulsive and silly of you both. I thought you of all people could be trusted in that respect."  
"I almost got caught in your sandstorm earlier. I think there have been some, ah, side effects."  
"Daniel!" Lauren called out and another mech appeared. "Take Ell for examination, possible sandstorm exposure."  
The Daniel led me away to the medical centre in the basement. I had been here to study the re-education procedure, and to make sure Carlos was never abused more than the necessary minimum for finding out things that he was not supposed to know. I had never been on the receiving end of any of the "treatments" and "cures" offered here. I was led past the medical rooms to a small lab I had never been in before. It had a glass partition through which I could see a mostly-naked Lucas being prodded by one of the medical staff whilst a fellow psychologist I vaguely knew asked him questions. The Daniel touched a control and the window went dark. 

After about half an hour, a psychologist I did not know came to talk to me. She set up a battery of psychometric tests for me, just different enough from the ones I had taken the day I got my promotion that I couldn't cheat and pretend I was still OldEll. I ploughed through screen after screen of boring, repetitive questions. Rank these responses in order from most likely to least likely... Choose the answer that best matches your reaction to... Which of the following words best describes... Good god I was bored. I knew their tactic, start with the complicated questions that look like they are designed carefully to test your personality and end with the seemingly simple ones. That way the subject drops their guard after the pointlessly detailed questions at the start and by the end just wants to click through to the finish. That way you get a true picture of responses after you discard the first section that the subject thought so carefully about before answering. I knew their tactic and I still fell for it.

Once the test finished I knew they would keep me waiting for the result and any decision based on it, so I put my head on the desk and went to sleep. I had no idea what time it was, probably somewhere on the cusp between late night and too early for morning. Daniel woke me up and gave me coffee. The psychologist returned and told me what I suspected: my personality had changed but not so much that I couldn't resume work in Night Vale as long as I could act enough like OldEll not to cause concern. No treatment necessary, review every two months. Daniel took me back to Lauren's office. She was smiling.

"Oh no harm done then, isn't that just... great!" She beamed.  
"Yes," I smiled, "I'm fit for work."  
"Ab-so-lutely! We are all so glad you will be just as productive as before. And Lucas! What. A. Treasure."  
"He has some interesting news. Did he tell you?"  
"Oh I don't want to be a tattle-tale about what he might or might not have said." Lauren's smile dipped and recovered. "He will be such an asset though, and so... careful, so... good at bargaining. Why, he almost..." Lauren stopped and shook herself. The smile returned. "Well, he will be heading the lab here in Desert Bluffs. He's almost finished in medical and Kevin is here to meet him." She looked at me, the fixed smile stony cold. "Want to come? It should be such fun to see what they make of each other."

We walked back into the medical block. Lucas was in a spacious room that was empty apart from a chair that had his clothes folded onto it and one of the Marks standing guard. He was completely naked. I raised my eyebrows at him and he winked at me. Lauren indicated that I should stand out of the way as Kevin walked in, stood and stared. I had never seen Kevin before, although I had heard him of course. His voice was always cheerful on his radio show, a good breakfast show presenter voice. Light and chirpy no matter what he was reporting. He looked just enough like Cecil to make me wonder if they were twins separated early in life, but dissimilar enough that I doubted this hypothesis. He was about the same kind of average height and shape as Cecil but his colouring was lighter and his eyes were... It is so strange but I was utterly transfixed by Kevin's eyes and now, later, I can't describe them at all. When I think of his face I can't picture any eyes there, just dark, empty sockets. 

Kevin walked once around Lucas, taking in the full three-sixty view as if he was considering a bid at auction. He liked what he saw and I could see that Lucas was captivated. Kevin asked Lucas if he minded being touched. Lucas gave permission and Kevin placed the flat of one hand against Lucas's ribcage just above where his heart should beat. Lucas never took his eyes off Kevin the whole time he stood there, one hand waiting to feel a heartbeat. Lucas moved first. Slowly he picked Kevin's hand from his chest and bit each finger once. Kevin almost squealed, Lauren was delighted. "Oh fantastic!" she gushed, "he has the measure of you already. I should have known, I mean, he was created by the storm not licked together by a unicorn." They laughed: Lauren, Kevin, Lucas, Mark, Daniel. Me. It seemed the necessary thing to do. 

Lauren took my arm and steered me out of the room, Mark and Daniel close behind. "Let's leave them to get to know each other better," she chirped. "Kevin has been working so hard, a distraction might actually increase his productivity overall." We reached Lauren's office once more. "Right. By the smiling god, what a night! You have some new working guidelines and productivity targets to meet. We just have time to go over them with some coffee, Mark? get coffee, and you can drive on over to that quaint little lab in Night Vale. Can't have them missing you for too long, can we? I mean, we can't have Carlos show up here to look for you like some knight in shining armour." Lauren's not-smile was back.  
"Oh Carlos wouldn't do that. He knows I don't appreciate the alpha-male-rescuing-the-little-princess hero act." I smiled at Lauren and after a few well-if-you're-sure type comments the coffee arrived and we got down to business.

My orders:  
1\. Keep reporting any odd time-related events. In fact, report daily on every incident however trivial.  
2\. Retrieve Carlos's notebooks.  
3\. Find a way to monitor Carlos's subconscious thoughts in case he drops any hints about his old research, encourage him to resume and report on his progress.  
4\. Encourage Carlos and Cecil to get it together, easier to monitor them.

I set off for Night Vale, allowing OldEll to resurface gradually but still keeping a hand on the steering wheel.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo.... whaddayathink?


End file.
